A Year To Remember

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone, but 2020 will undoubtedly go down in history as the strangest year of our lives.  Everything from the toilet paper shortage to the 24-hour quarantine, things have just been different.  I must confess though; it has been a blessing.  From the insane scheduling of gymnastics, karate, football, mine and Mike’s work schedule, and school in general, things had steadily become out of control.  However, after everything shut down, we were forced to slow down and take a breath.  Before this, I could not tell you the last time we put a puzzle together, had a 3-hour Monopoly battle or had a Bob Ross painting night.  Workouts became more creative.  Walking the dogs became a daily thing.  We colored with chalk, dyed our hair, played dozens of board games, and had outdoor movie nights.  I was gifted with more lengthy conversations with my big kids than I can count.  For that, I am thankful.

Victoria is flying through her junior year at William and Mary.  She is currently virtual learning from the comforts of home.  Although that was a difficult decision for her, saving money on dorm costs was a no-brainer.  Victoria has chosen not to work while she’s in school as she is fully dedicated to her academics and us!  Our girl is one of the most thoughtful and determined young women that I know.  When she puts her mind to something, she is sure to achieve it!   

Ethan is currently in his freshman year at the Naval Academy in Maryland; he has become quite the expert in push-ups, late night study sessions, and grinding through the sometimes-never-ending days of plebe life.  Just like the rest of the world, things are looking different for him.  All academics are taken online which makes things more challenging as these classes were never intended to be taken virtually.  However, even with the all the demands, he still manages to check in often.  We’re so thankful to have him home for the holidays!

Christian is in his sophomore year in high school and has become quite the beast in the gym, at school, and on the football field.  He was the starting defensive tackle on the JV team, which came with a lot of grind on and off the field.  One of the most exciting parts of his year happened when the DMV opened back up and he was able to get his permit.  Watch out everyone!!!  This guy’s managed to keep an A average all while balancing his many roles within the family.  He is one of the funniest, most dedicated, and hardworking teenage boys I’ve ever seen.  Love this kid.

Addie has made the jump to middle school life.  We were a little nervous about transitioning to middle school, but man, she’s crushing it!  She studies everyday and is making tons of new friends.  She decided to try something new this year and is now in karate!  Anyone who knows our girl knows that this is right up her alley.  She recently tested and is now proudly wearing a yellow belt.  This gal continues to be the crafting queen of the family.  Every week I am gifted with a new creation…I’m loving every one of them.  My sweet girl is one of the most thoughtful, caring, and determined 

12-year-olds ever!

Kaitlyn’s year has been one filled with broken bones.  Mother of the year encouraged her to push through thinking she was just sore from her many hours at gymnastics.  It wasn’t until she came home crying that I decided to get it checked out.  Yep…broken in two places.  Having a cast was initially fun until she realized how inconvenient it was.  Shortly thereafter, my girl slammed her hand in the door leaving her without a fingernail and a broken finger.  Needless to say, we’ve had quite an adventure with that little one.  Kaitlyn is not only killing it at the gym, she’s flying through sixth grade with ease.  The transition was a little more difficult, but she’s great at adapting.  She continues to be one of the sweetest, most tenderhearted, and hardworking kiddos ever!

Mike was promoted from Squadron Commander to Deputy Group Commander of the 116th Operations Group.  This means more meetings, more responsibilities, but no more deployments.  In recent weeks, we have learned that Mike was selected for a broadening opportunity to work at Headquarters Air Force in Washington, DC.  He will be working on the development and acquisition of future programs.  Although we're excited for the opportunity, it will be an adjustment getting used to being geographically separated for a little while.  Thankfully, Mike will still be flying and will still be affiliated with the State of Georgia, so he will be traveling home quite a bit.

As for me, I am still loving my new position as at Caring Solutions.  Prior to becoming a wife and Mother, I had many jobs that I enjoyed, but I never thought it was possible to have a career that my sole responsibility would be to love the people I serve.  I have the opportunity to connect with those who are facing difficult decisions and am able to guide those who are seeking to improve their situations.  Even better than the patients I meet, I serve alongside of some of the most caring and Godly women I have ever known.  Although the days can be long, the benefits of what I do make every day worth it.

We pray that you all had a very Merry Christmas and are blessed beyond measure in 2021!

Precious Gift of Pain

We will all experience hardships; some may be momentary setbacks in our day to day lives, but others may feel so bleak it becomes seemingly impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel.   It is in those desperate times, we tend to beg and plead for God to take away our burdens and relieve us of the grief, pain, and shame that so deeply penetrates our soul.  Although there are times that God is merciful and delivers us from our pain rather quickly, there are other points when he allows us to trudge through some of the darkest times of our lives for what feels like eternity.  The heartaches of life may leave us feeling alone and hopeless; while these feelings are completely normal, God does not want us to be afraid or feel discouraged as he has promised that he will never leave us nor forsake us.   God allows some of us to experience pain and hardships to not only deepen our relationship with Him, but to allow us to walk hand in hand with others that may need encouragement that the storm they are facing will indeed pass.  Although, when we are in the midst of navigating through the dark and unknowns of life it can be difficult to see, God never leaves our side; He allows us to feel and experience pain in ways that will bring him glory to his kingdom.  Because of the precious gift of pain, we can walk through the valleys with those we love and serve as an encourager that God will not only see us through our darkest days but hold our hand along the way.  Perhaps there is someone you know that needs that reminder today. 

 The leaves are beginning to change colors.  There is a distinct crispness in the air and the slow decline of the Georgia temperature can be felt.  Fall is undoubtedly on its way.  While seasonal changes can be exciting, the same cannot always be said about life changes.  In fact, change tends to elicit a sense of fear and anxiousness in us all at some time or another.  As we are undoubtedly living in unprecedented times, we can certainly recognize that fear, ambiguity, and change have always been a part of life as we know it.  Unfortunately, whether good or bad, change is unavoidable.  The comforts we feel today may be gone tomorrow, just as the hardships we may be experiencing will eventually become a memory.  However, there is reason to rejoice!  The One who created us in his likeness is unchanging.  Our God is not surprised by the state of the world today; he is not shocked or deterred.  In perhaps one of the most beautiful traditional hymns ever written, songwriter Thomas O. Chisholm (1923) captured God's essence through his words, "Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou has been, Thou forever will be."  Although we may be shaken, our God is the same yesterday today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8, NIV). He will provide us with what we need to get through the challenges of life.  God will always be faithful; He will always honor his word. God promises that as we grow closer to him and learn to trust that he is in control, we may find comfort in the everchanging seasons of this life.  While they may not always be as comfortable as pumpkin spice lattes and cozy nights by the fire, he has promised that all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, NIV).

19 Years and Counting

"How long have you guys been married?"  That's a question I get asked often; when I respond with "19 years" I often get a wide-eyed reaction filled with disbelief.  My parents have been married for 45 years and I know that every time I hear that number, I react with the same look.  It has nothing to do with the couple, rather, the idea of how long that actually is! 

We have had 19 years of deployments, TDY's, children, moves, military demands, loss, lessons, and did I mention, children!  There have been many ups and downs.  Thankfully, the good times have outweighed the bad times; however, by no means has it been easy.  In fact, there have been times we have both asked the question, "is this worth it?"  My belief is that every couple has, at times, asked themselves that same question.  If they say they haven't, either they haven't been married that long or they're not necessarily being honest with themselves. I don't say that to be contentious, but rather to draw attention to the fact while marriage begins with two people deeply in love, it eventually becomes a choice...will you choose to stay in love?

The first time I saw Mike, he was on the basketball court at McAlister Field House at the Citadel; he was all alone in the gym working on his game.  I was immediately hooked on that handsome guy!  I loved his work ethic, determination, and dedication to the things he found most important.  I loved the way he looked at me, the way he built me up, and constantly encouraged me.  In the words of of  Ren'ee Zellwegar, in Jerry McGuire, he had me at hello. That was the honeymoon phase of our marriage.  Although it was beyond wonder, that phase never lasts.

Eventually, the struggles of life with a job, a family, and being away from the place you call home take root.  Marriage tests our patience, our capability of understanding, our empathy, and our determination.  Will you run every time the thought crosses your mind?  Will you bolt every time your feelings get hurt or there's a disagreement?  Those become questions you will be forced to consider throughout your marriage.  It's hard, because we're human and self preservation is a very real thing. 

Marriage stretches every human boundary we thought we had.  It forces us to face the ugliness inside ourselves and embrace the joy we never thought was possible.  It is also true that marriage, as with any true commitment, takes work....but is it worth it?  Yes, it absolutely is.

Here's to 19 years and counting...

The Quarantine Conundrum

One day, all the history books will speak about the great pandemic of 2020.  They will tell the story of how terribly it impacted the economy, families, and all the incredible restrictions placed on communities; it will highlight how many people lost their jobs and spent weeks worrying about how they would pay their bills.  Future generations will hear about the vast number of people who contracted the virus and how many people perished.  There will be many who say, "I can't even imagine." 

It's true; what we are experiencing has been traumatic for countless individuals and their families.  In my family alone, my children's lives have been deeply affected.  They have been dealing with their own sense of loss. 

My daughter, a sophomore at William & Mary, had to cut her semester short to come home and complete her courses.  Bless her heart.  Trying to take five classes that were never meant to be taught online, with the never-ending background noise coming from her siblings, has been challenging.  In addition, she had to leave her friends, her routine, and a place she now calls "home" without a proper goodbye.

My oldest son saw his senior year abruptly come to an end.  His varsity soccer season was cut short; they were undefeated and likely moving toward the championship.  My boy missed out on prom, senior skip day, senior field day, and all the senior trips that were being planned.  As if those disappointments weren't enough, he also had to grind out five AP classes online.  At one point, even the dream of a high school graduation ceremony looked bleak.

Christian, my high school freshman, seemed to handle it fairly well.  He was, of course, disappointed to not be able to workout with his buddies or attend football practice.  However, the greatest blow for him came in the form of a driving permit; that great milestone would have to wait.

My not-so-little ones missed out on their fifth-grade graduation ceremony, field day, yearbook signing, and saying goodbye to their closest friends and teachers.  Online learning was a challenge as we all had to learn various platforms and go through the tedious trial and error process.  It was not always pretty in the Roy household, but we managed.  Perhaps the most devastating realization for these girls was...no gymnastics for a while.

Yes, we will read many stories highlighting the personal impact stemming from the overwhelming events of this great pandemic.  While the realities of this situation have, in many cases, been grim, there is a wonderful gift to this story that may be overlooked...the gift of time.  What a precious gift.  Before this, I could not tell you the last time we put a puzzle together, had a 3-hour Monopoly battle or had a Bob Ross painting night.  Workouts became more creative.  Walking the dogs became a daily thing.  We colored with chalk, dyed our hair, played dozens of board games, and had outdoor movie nights.  I was gifted with more lengthy conversations with my big kids than I can count.  These moments have warmed my heart and blessed my spirit on a daily basis.  We have been able to "visit" more churches and hear more sermons than we ever could have under normal circumstances.  Thanks to modern technology, we could worship in the comforts of our home on any day of the week; there was no dress code, eating was encouraged, and snugly blankets were required.  Even in dark days, God is so good.

You see my conundrum.  On one hand I am grieving with those who have been negatively impacted, yet on the other hand, I am thankful for the personal blessings that have come from this pandemic.  Although these have been some very traumatic times for many, I pray that other families have been able to experience the silver lining to this dark cloud in American history.

A New Chapter

Sunday, June 23, 2019

It’s the eve of my first job interview in 18 years.  Let that sink in…18 years.  While some may hear that number and think of wasted years that I could have been pursuing a personal dream, I look at those years as being filled with perhaps my greatest accomplishments.  I’ve been able to spend the last 18 years of my life supporting my husband while watching five incredible babies grow and blossom into amazing people.  I’ve seen all of them take their first steps, been to every school party, and cried with every first day of school.  These not-so-little people have been my whole world.  While that will never change, the time is right for me to begin focusing on personal goals.

Monday, June 24, 2019

What led to this day is profound and simply cannot go unmentioned.  After graduating in June, Mike and I discussed the possibility of me getting a job while I worked toward my Master’s degree.  Weighing the pros and cons, we decided that rather rush into any decisions, we would “hurry up and wait” (thanks for the mantra US Air Force). We began praying for direction…Mike and I prayed, my family prayed, and my friends prayed.  I often spoke about needing God to show me a big neon sign letting me know what direction to take.  At times I felt like I would never get an answer, although in hindsight the wait period was fairly short.  One afternoon, while speaking with a friend about volunteer opportunities in our community that would allow me to work with people in need of emotional support, they mentioned an organization called Caring Solutions.  I began doing research and immediately fell in love.  This was a group that sought to provide women love, medical care, and support during a very vulnerable point in their lives.  While perusing their website, I stumbled upon several job openings.  It was then that I realized THIS was my neon sign.  God had used an innocent conversation with a friend to lead me here.  I swallowed my insecurities and submitted my resume. 

    

I was beyond nervous for my interview today; stepping outside of my comfort zone to apply for a position after all these years had my stomach in knots.  After my initial jitters had subsided and the interview commenced, I became sure that I had come to the right place. 

Friday, June 28, 2019

I am thrilled to say that I am now officially a member of the Caring Solutions family.  As I sit here thinking about reentering the workforce, I am flooded with emotion.  My dream has always been to become a therapist and this position will allow me to dip my toe into those waters.  I can’t hide my excitement of the possibilities to come!  Meeting new people, cultivating new relationships, and working with like-minded individuals is exhilarating!  I’ve prayed so hard for an opportunity like this! 

  

A Full Heart

As always, another year has blown by and I have to admit that I am sad to see 2017 end.  This year was filled with love, memories, and growth.  We have learned to cherish those closest to us and cling to every precious moment we have with those we love.  It wasn't so long ago that I used to balk at the sweet older women who would tell me to "enjoy every minute of motherhood because it goes by so quickly".  Those words would often come at times when my patience was running thin or I was stressed beyond words.  However, as it turns out, those sweet women were the wisest of all.

Our family is now bracing for transition as Victoria is in search of the perfect school.  That girl has done some amazing things this year!  After turning 17, she got her first car, her first job, and began her last year as a high school student.  This summer, while we vacationed in New Hampshire, she spent her time on the lake studying for a Future Business Leaders of America national competition that was to be held in California.  Her time was well spent as she competed and was named National Champion in Business Communication.  Did I mention this was her first year participating in FBLA and that she had never taken a business class?  She has really learned to spread her wings and embrace all that life has to offer.  She is coaching her 3rd year of Upward basketball with Mike, spends hours volunteering around our community, and maintains her 4.1 GPA.  As I have said time and again, this girl is going to do great things, not simply because of her brilliance, but because she has a heart of gold and loves with all her being.  She loves people, loves challenges, and is not afraid to reach for the stars!  I am beyond thankful to call her my girl.

Ethan is enjoying the perks of being 16.  He gets more freedom, later nights, and time in the driver's seat.  This boy stays busy and understands the value of hard work and determination.  He was fortunate enough to go on several church retreats with the youth group this year; these retreats foster friendship, encourage leadership, and dive deep into God's Word.  I am so thankful for these ministries and the passion it evokes in my children.  Ethan had a pretty big year with athletics; he ran varsity track, varsity cross country, and is on the HOCO basketball team.  He has managed to do this all while maintaining A's in all his classes.  I absolutely love his determination!  Even though track and cross country were not his favorite sports, he honored his commitment and improved at every race.  Ethan decided this year that after high school he wants to head north and attend the Naval Academy.  The thought of another child growing up and leaving the proverbial nest makes my stomach tighten, but knowing the amazing things my son is capable of has me beaming!  Wherever he goes, I know that God has big plans for him!

My sweet Christian has now entered his teenage years and is thriving!  This was his first year playing football for his school and he killed it!  On top of keeping straight A's and being an athletic beast, he's started a pet-sitting job on the side.  As it turns out, taking care of pets is quite a lucrative job; he's learning the benefits of hard work, money management, and the sweet rewards of dedication.  For his birthday, he got his first acoustic guitar.  He began teaching himself how to play and is now rocking out on a regular basis.  My boy is strong, smart, devoted, and above all has a pure heart.  He went on several trips with our church this year that have deepened his faith tremendously.  When Christian was 10, he told me he wanted to serve as a missionary one day.  Now, at 13, he is talking to his youth pastor and looking ahead to when he can actually fulfill that dream.  He has a heart for people and love for God that goes beyond what many teenagers have.  He's a keeper for sure!

My not-so-littles celebrated their 9th birthday this year!  I don't think I'll ever be able to look at them and not think of them as my "littles".  This year, they started 3rd grade, which meant transitioning into the big kid school (3rd-5th grades).  They are loving being part of different clubs and participating in school activities.  However, the real fun began when the girls realized a harder grade required more discipline with schoolwork.  That's been great fun...ha!

Addie remains the family's ultimate crafter and lover of any challenge, whether it be a race or an argument, she likes to win.  She is not often satisfied with basic answers; she likes to ask questions and understand every detail of what she is being taught.  I just love that about her!  She loves reading, writing, playing basketball, and gymnastics.  When asked what she wants to do when she grows up, she replies with "everything".  Our sweet girl loves fiercely, hurts deeply, and wants everything in life to make sense.

My little Kaitlyn continues to be my snuggle bug; she considers it a personal challenge to see just how close she can get.  I could NOT love that any more.  She is passionate about all things sporty!  When she was smaller, Mike and I were sure she was going to be our "girly-girl" who loved twirly dresses and big bows...not so much.  This gal likes her comfy clothes, gymnastics, and basketball.  She loves math, science, and is meticulous about everything being in order.  Her toys are all organized, her bed is almost always made, and her book bag is kept neat.  She may be just one of my most responsible children, even if she is my youngest (by a minute).

As for Mike and I, 2017 has been a great year!  With our kiddos being older, we've been able to get away more often.  We've been to see the Avett Brothers in concert, the Impractical Jokers, and had countless date nights.  Keeping a marriage strong is difficult if you allow life to get in the way.  Let's face it, life has a funny way of distracting us from what's most important.  I am so thankful that we have both worked very hard toward being intentional and making each other a priority.  We are thankful for another year without a deployment!  I'm sure there is another on the horizon, but for now we're enjoying being together and living in the present.  On a personal note, I will be finishing my degree this year and preparing to enter the workforce.  I am so, so, so excited!

While this year has been one of the best for our family, 2018 will undoubtedly bring with it new hopes, new opportunities, and even more room for growth.  So I'm ready... bring it on 2018!